A few weeks ago, something happened in our homeschool playgroup that reminded me just how sacred peace really is—and how hard it can be to protect it when people don’t respect your boundaries.

We’d hosted a fun tie-dye gathering at our home, the kind of messy, colorful chaos that childhood is made of. But in the middle of all that joy, one child—around eight—started cussing, hitting, and threatening to kill my kids. You read that right. And it wasn’t just a passing bad mood. It was aggressive, unsafe, and unprovoked.

I calmly pulled the child aside and told him, “We are kind to friends here. We’re happy you’re here, but if you’re not able to be kind, we’ll need to ask you to leave.” Then I let his parents know, gently and respectfully, that I’d spoken with him and wanted to check in with them. They brushed it off.

No accountability. No concern. No follow-up.

The Cost of Looking the Other Way

Our group—made up of families who value kindness, emotional safety, and growth—agreed this wasn’t a fit. The group founder let them know they were no longer a part of the group. It wasn’t a punishment. It was a boundary, rooted in care—for our kids and for the kind of community we’re building.

But as often happens with emotionally immature people, they didn’t reflect or take responsibility. Instead, they started messaging other group members, trying to stir confusion and sympathy. They showed up at a public meet-up, played performative “we were hoping for another chance” cards, and eventually exploded in a text message saying our group could “go f*** yourselves.”

That kind of reaction? It confirmed the decision was absolutely right.

Boundaries Aren’t Cruel. They’re Clarity.

Let me say this clearly, for anyone else who’s been afraid to speak up:

You are allowed to protect your space.

You are allowed to say, “This isn’t emotionally safe for my family.”

You don’t have to include people who don’t respect others.

You don’t owe an emotionally volatile person another chance.

We live in a culture that sometimes confuses kindness with passivity. But real kindness includes protecting others from harm. Real leadership means saying no more when someone refuses to take responsibility for their actions.

What We Teach Our Kids When We Say Goodbye

By setting this boundary, we taught our kids:

That threats, aggression, and disrespect are not tolerated—even from someone we know. That they are worthy of safe friendships and trusted adults. That kindness doesn’t mean letting people hurt you. That we stand by our values, even when it’s uncomfortable.

We also taught them that accountability is a life skill. One this family wasn’t willing to model.

Final Thought: Protecting Peace Is Sacred Work

If you’re building something beautiful—an emotionally safe, respectful community—you will have to protect it. And sometimes, that means saying goodbye to people who were never aligned in the first place.

That’s not failure.

That’s wisdom.

That’s leadership.

And that’s what our kids need to see more of.

Want to read more about emotional needs? Check out my book— a practical, nurse-authored guide to understanding what we all need emotionally, and simple ways to meet those needs for yourself and the people you love.